Being alive, means that at times we may act, or feel, or think in a way we wish would be different. That is rather natural, and it gives us room to grow and to improve, according to our own goals and towards our own ideals.

Accepting our current limitation and our human imperfection is an integral part of self-love. However, real self-love doesn’t end with that unconditional forgiveness, that is simply not enough. It is also woven with sincere self-improvement. We don’t just accept our shortcomings and let ourselves indulge in them.  Rather we recognize them and through careful dedicated work we try to grow towards our personal benefits.


For instance; we got angry, perhaps even rightfully, someone was unfair towards us, let us down or even betrayed us, we feel hurt, upset. And yet we find ourselves expressing it in a way we afterwards regret. We broke our own very standards, we surpassed the level of rage we wish to allow within our system. We recognize that we didn’t respect the manner in which we would like to communicate, the volume of our voice and intensity of our speech. We would have preferred to act differently, but we didn’t.

So now what?

There we are with our unfulfilled wish, with our frustration- not only at the situation upon which we got angry in the first place, but also at getting so angry, and for the way we ended up expressing ourselves.

Double upset.

Where do we go from here?

How quickly are we able to let it all go, to accept and then renounce that anger and displeasement? How fast do we forgive ourselves and move on?

Another example: We decided to keep a particular food diet, or a fitness goal, and we then didn’t, we broke our commitment and resolution, it happened. What is the aftermath?

Do we see our lack of commitment simply for what it is or do we make it worse by beating ourselves us? Can we constructively see where we are and lovely find a way to progress?


And then: We sit in meditation and at some point we find ourselves instead of dwelling deep inside our pure nature, that we are lost, lost and wondering in a flow of thoughts. Then and there, we have a choice, at that very moment, what do we do?

How quickly can we let go of that luring thought, as interesting as it may be. Do we fall prey to its temptation and follow it or are we strong in our dedication and are able to drop it, immediately, at that very instant, returning back to dedicate ourselves inwards.

Allowing ourselves to go round and round in pointless thinking, feeding useless reasoning, dwelling in negative feelings, going over and over through painful memories, these all are not an expression of self-love. Nor is getting upset at ourselves about being imperfect.

Real mature self-love is the ability to accept and forgive ourselves. And then with a smile, move on. Returning, as soon as we can, back to our inner focused work, not wasting any more of our time or resources where it is not supporting us. Rather, gathering our full power and care – directing all our energy to our growth, for that is really all we are here for, to grow.

(c) 2010 Meditative Art School, Mochita Har-Lev      Web Development: